Me in my mental prime
Mr. Mark T. Anderson in his mental prime
Sunday, October 14, 2012
I have been terribly, terribly, terribly queasy all day. Medication for it did not help, so just sitting here on the couch again today, feeling awful. I have homework to do and cannot get after it, because every time I sit up I want to throw up ... ugh ... wah! wah! wah! I reckon I need some sleep to see if it gets better, but I have been like this off and on for more than a week ...
Monday, October 8, 2012
October 2012
Good morning!
I can't tell you what day today is, so I will just say, good morning.
I have taken up cigarettes again after being quit since 1985. I attribute this to the impulse control issues I have been having lately, particularly with food and other things.
Naturally, I have not been feeling particularly well of late, although my energy is still up. Will have to quit the smokes again and get my body moving to get the weight off of me that I picked up in this oral phase, whatever it was.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Sunday, 11 March 2012
My family records Jeopardy on our DVR. It gives my wife and me a family activity with my stepson, who is very bright and permits me to exercise my memory. We challenge each other with respect to who can answer the questions quickest, and in correct "Jeopardy Form."
I usually have the most depth of knowlege (benefits of a classical education, I suppose) but not all the time. Tonight we watched a few episodes from the past two weeks while we brewed some beer (another activity that I share with my wife and son). I was able to answer many of the arcane/obscure topics, but the common topics "locked me up" as I could not find the correct word or phrase (God give me strength on the anagrams - I despise how foolish everyone else can make me feel with those!!)
Great weekend and more to follow about puzzles and other mind exercises.
I usually have the most depth of knowlege (benefits of a classical education, I suppose) but not all the time. Tonight we watched a few episodes from the past two weeks while we brewed some beer (another activity that I share with my wife and son). I was able to answer many of the arcane/obscure topics, but the common topics "locked me up" as I could not find the correct word or phrase (God give me strength on the anagrams - I despise how foolish everyone else can make me feel with those!!)
Great weekend and more to follow about puzzles and other mind exercises.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Thursday, 16 February 2012
That I know the day of the week, and date show that I am at least oriented for date most of the time. I've not yet had a relapse of telling someone the wrong year, which I have done a time or two ...
Today was a day of ups and downs. My wife and I went to an appointment she had this morning, then ran a whole bunch of errands to Staples, the US Post Office, and other places to help my daughter with her wedding planning. We then went to the VA Community Based Outpatient Clinic (COBC) in Mount Vernon, Missouri for my routine protime (usually it is monthly but I have been going weekly of late).
At the pet food store, VA COBC, and grocery my wife and I both noticed I was shuffling my feet, and she had me grab onto the cart for stability. I did not mumble nor do any of the other neurological things that normally seem to accompany shuffling, but I was exausted when we got home.
We just collapsed in the living room at home, me in my chair, until our son got back from work - he is staying with us while he recuperates from surgery for his hand, about another four weeks.
I had the realization today that my younger brother, age 50 and another Army veteran, is currently caring for my aging mother. She still works, but she has had a few falls and if he had not been there, we likely would have gotten a call from the police or the coroner ...
Anyway, I called my younger brother in Milwaukee, age 51, tonight just to see how he was doing and talk about how to help our mom. We were talking about how to get our brother a break now and again as well. In the middle of this conversation, I had about a one to two minute petit mal seizure, and was really slow to rouse. He thought I had drifted off into what I was doing on the computer and was a bit miffed, but I swear I did not remember a thing other than staring at the door to the office when I finally realized where I was again.
Later I called the younger brother to offer him solace if he wanted it (he did not) and to amuse him for a while. We talked for a few minutes and I think I was coherent most of the time.
Time is now 2049 hours local, and I am so tired I must be off to bed.
Today was a day of ups and downs. My wife and I went to an appointment she had this morning, then ran a whole bunch of errands to Staples, the US Post Office, and other places to help my daughter with her wedding planning. We then went to the VA Community Based Outpatient Clinic (COBC) in Mount Vernon, Missouri for my routine protime (usually it is monthly but I have been going weekly of late).
At the pet food store, VA COBC, and grocery my wife and I both noticed I was shuffling my feet, and she had me grab onto the cart for stability. I did not mumble nor do any of the other neurological things that normally seem to accompany shuffling, but I was exausted when we got home.
We just collapsed in the living room at home, me in my chair, until our son got back from work - he is staying with us while he recuperates from surgery for his hand, about another four weeks.
I had the realization today that my younger brother, age 50 and another Army veteran, is currently caring for my aging mother. She still works, but she has had a few falls and if he had not been there, we likely would have gotten a call from the police or the coroner ...
Anyway, I called my younger brother in Milwaukee, age 51, tonight just to see how he was doing and talk about how to help our mom. We were talking about how to get our brother a break now and again as well. In the middle of this conversation, I had about a one to two minute petit mal seizure, and was really slow to rouse. He thought I had drifted off into what I was doing on the computer and was a bit miffed, but I swear I did not remember a thing other than staring at the door to the office when I finally realized where I was again.
Later I called the younger brother to offer him solace if he wanted it (he did not) and to amuse him for a while. We talked for a few minutes and I think I was coherent most of the time.
Time is now 2049 hours local, and I am so tired I must be off to bed.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Addendum Sunday 12 February 2012
Hello again. I just sent an email to the Association for Frontotemporal Dementia to inform them of this weblog and to ask for recommended markers or other information for me to input into the blog. I have incorporated a link to their site and encourage my friends to consider donating to this cause for research ...
Sunday 12 February 2012
Today has been a good day. I have been preparing class materials for the graduate course that I teach and am behind, however. I also do not have my letter of appointment yet, and cannot see the class roster at the university's faculty portal, so I am hoping I do get paid sometime.
I have been reading a bit about another one of my health conditions and am concerned that NASH may make my mental deterioration come faster. I hope to be able to continue going to the gym so we can improve my liver enzyme values when tested next. I am scheduled to see the Endocrinologist/Diabetes specialist in August 2012 at the Washington University Medical Center's Diabetes Center.
I have been reading a bit about another one of my health conditions and am concerned that NASH may make my mental deterioration come faster. I hope to be able to continue going to the gym so we can improve my liver enzyme values when tested next. I am scheduled to see the Endocrinologist/Diabetes specialist in August 2012 at the Washington University Medical Center's Diabetes Center.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Day 2
Had an interesting day. We are planning my daughter's wedding so got to spend part of the day with my Amy, her fiance Michael, my wife and grandson. We went to the caterers and worked through their desires, so next comes the bill, but it really will not be bad as it is a 7:30 pm wedding and we are not doing a sit-down dinner.
I had a petit mal seizure on the way there, lost about three or four minutes just staring out the window. No sinilar episodes the rest of the day, and generally it was pretty good. I did fail to put the pre-fermented (sourdough) starter into our bread, otherwise all was well.
I had a petit mal seizure on the way there, lost about three or four minutes just staring out the window. No sinilar episodes the rest of the day, and generally it was pretty good. I did fail to put the pre-fermented (sourdough) starter into our bread, otherwise all was well.
Addendum, Day 1
Last night had a great wave of sadness as I realized how much my wife must be struggling with this. She tries so hard to get me to talk to her, but I continue to retreat into myself, and verbalizations are becoming less and less. I also had a VIVID hallucination, green and yellow colors outlining the shadows in our bedroom. Yipee ...
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 1
My name is Mark T. Anderson. I am a retired Soldier with 32 years of service to this great nation. I am a husband, father, and grandfather. I am a political scientist, with a Master of Public Administration degree and some doctoral work.
I am dying from frontotemporal lobe dementia, also called FTD. Dr. Rodney Quinn in Springfield, Missouri diagnosed my illness in January 2009, and it was confirmed by Dr. James Galvin, the Director of the Washington University Memory Diagnostic Clinic.
The National Institutes of Health Frontotemporal Dementia Information Page (see http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/picks/picks.htm), the National Institutes of describes Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) as, “… a clinical syndrome associated with shrinking of the frontal and temporal anterior lobes of the brain ... The current designation of the syndrome groups together Pick’s disease, primary progressive aphasia, and semantic dementia as FTD …” and “… PROGNOSIS: The outcome for people with FTD is poor. The disease progresses steadily and often rapidly, ranging from less than 2 years in some individuals to more than 10 years in others. Eventually some individuals with FTD will need 24-hour care and monitoring at home or in an institutionalized care setting.”
Recent research by Dr. John Q. Trojanowski, M.D., PhD, (see http://news.healingwell.com/index.php?p=news1&id=527876) at the University of Pennsylvania Institute on Aging indicates that the average survival time for FTD may be just three years and that FTD kills patients more than twice as fast as Alzheimer’s, with a maximum survival time of approximately 5.7 years.
I have continued to remain relatively high-functioning, which is an anomaly for this disease. Until January 2011, I was the technical program director for a United States Army effort that was heavily reliant on cutting edge technology. I still have friends and colleagues contact me for technical advice, and a consulting job for a close friend is a big maybe at this time. I am currently teaching a recurring graduate course in research methods, and in March will teach one iteration of a graduate course in strategic management, which I taught previously.
Having said that, I am just do not hit on all cylinders, as we used to say in the Army. I get easily lost in unfamiliar places, and find that I experience both fear and embarrassment when that happens to me. Because my primary symptom is semantic dementia, I am fluent with normal phonology and syntax but am experiencing increasing difficulty with naming and word comprehension. This is incredibly frustrating, as I had always had a tremendous vocabulary. In 1995 the Department of Veterans Affairs tested me in support of a claim for vocational rehabilitation. The Psychologist determined that I possessed at that time an IQ in excess of 162 on a Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS)-III, and my abilities in the verbal comprehension, working memory, and processing speed scales were so high that they could not accurately measure them. Recent testing on WAIS-IV and Mini-Mental State Examination were less than encouraging, however.
To be honest, I have more health issues than just FTD. I provide a complete list here, as follows:
1. Presenile Dementia, Uncomplicated, Early Onset Alzheimers type (ICD-290.10)
2. Diabetes Mellitus, Type II, controlled (ICD 250.00)
3. Reynaud’s Phenomena (ICD 443.0)
4. Sleep Apnea (ICD 327.23)
5. Occular Migraines (ICD-346.0)
6. Migraines(ICD-346.0)
7. BPH (diminished prostate) (ICD 600.01)
8. Factor V Leiden (ICD 289.81)
9. Major depressive disorder, severe, recurring (ICD-296.3) (who would not be depressed with a death sentence over their head, eh?)
10. Sjogrens Syndrome (SC) (ICD-710.2)
11. Pulmonary Hypertension (ICD 416.8)
12. High Cholesterol (ICD V65.3)
13. Thyroid Nodules (ICD 242.4)
14. Gastro esophageal Reflux Disease (SC) (ICD 530.81)
15. Myalgias, Arthralgias (SC)
16. Non-Alcoholic Steatohepatitis (immune mediated hepatitis)(SC) (ICD 571.8)
17. Deep Venous Thrombosis, Resolved (ICD 453.41) with Dependent Edema
I take so much medication that I have to keep all of the bottles in a bin rather than a medicine cabinet. One of my medicines, Migranal, is over $100 per dose.
I decided to keep this blog to help document the changes in my cognitive state as a function of time. My disability attorney, a former Federal Administrative Law judge, got my wife and me into the habit of documenting my day to help others understand how hard it was for me to be out among other people. I find that I still write very well, although it takes me a great deal of time to organize and express my thoughts. For example, it required about two hours to organize and write this short background on me. It is my fervent hope that researchers will find this information useful, and that someday no one may suffer from this disease.
Day 1
Today I woke at 0530, but was very tired and dozed for a while. My wife got up to read her daily devotional, so I got up to drink coffee just like any other morning. Our 28 month-old grandson arrived and we got his breakfast, then both of us began to read to him. At 1000 we went to the public library to return some books we had checked out for our grandson. I was able to remember that I had asked for a book on interlibrary loan, but it had not arrived yet. I began to experience balance problems and had to hold onto the wall a few times as we left the library. We then went to the local mall to walk. I had to hold onto our grandson’s stroller for balance, and occasionally my wife observed that I was dragging my feet. At one point I stopped and was completely disoriented, even reading the signs I could not remember which way to go. My wife patiently attempted to coach me to make a correct decision, which I did after about three minutes. I was almost panicked by that time, and very embarrassed that I did not know which way to go if the child had been in my sole care. We then came home and I worked on materials for my students – it took me approximately two hours to send one email with materials that I had prepared over the past four days. After we had dinner, we needed to take my son somewhere, and I was unable to articulate the phrase “leather jacket” in an inquiry, and had to have my wife walk me through our coping strategies for words that I cannot grasp. When I returned home, I began this blog … and argued with my wife (very uncharacteristic of me before this disease surfaced) about going to be versus getting the job done.
More to follow (MTF).
I am dying from frontotemporal lobe dementia, also called FTD. Dr. Rodney Quinn in Springfield, Missouri diagnosed my illness in January 2009, and it was confirmed by Dr. James Galvin, the Director of the Washington University Memory Diagnostic Clinic.
The National Institutes of Health Frontotemporal Dementia Information Page (see http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/picks/picks.htm), the National Institutes of describes Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) as, “… a clinical syndrome associated with shrinking of the frontal and temporal anterior lobes of the brain ... The current designation of the syndrome groups together Pick’s disease, primary progressive aphasia, and semantic dementia as FTD …” and “… PROGNOSIS: The outcome for people with FTD is poor. The disease progresses steadily and often rapidly, ranging from less than 2 years in some individuals to more than 10 years in others. Eventually some individuals with FTD will need 24-hour care and monitoring at home or in an institutionalized care setting.”
Recent research by Dr. John Q. Trojanowski, M.D., PhD, (see http://news.healingwell.com/index.php?p=news1&id=527876) at the University of Pennsylvania Institute on Aging indicates that the average survival time for FTD may be just three years and that FTD kills patients more than twice as fast as Alzheimer’s, with a maximum survival time of approximately 5.7 years.
I have continued to remain relatively high-functioning, which is an anomaly for this disease. Until January 2011, I was the technical program director for a United States Army effort that was heavily reliant on cutting edge technology. I still have friends and colleagues contact me for technical advice, and a consulting job for a close friend is a big maybe at this time. I am currently teaching a recurring graduate course in research methods, and in March will teach one iteration of a graduate course in strategic management, which I taught previously.
Having said that, I am just do not hit on all cylinders, as we used to say in the Army. I get easily lost in unfamiliar places, and find that I experience both fear and embarrassment when that happens to me. Because my primary symptom is semantic dementia, I am fluent with normal phonology and syntax but am experiencing increasing difficulty with naming and word comprehension. This is incredibly frustrating, as I had always had a tremendous vocabulary. In 1995 the Department of Veterans Affairs tested me in support of a claim for vocational rehabilitation. The Psychologist determined that I possessed at that time an IQ in excess of 162 on a Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS)-III, and my abilities in the verbal comprehension, working memory, and processing speed scales were so high that they could not accurately measure them. Recent testing on WAIS-IV and Mini-Mental State Examination were less than encouraging, however.
To be honest, I have more health issues than just FTD. I provide a complete list here, as follows:
1. Presenile Dementia, Uncomplicated, Early Onset Alzheimers type (ICD-290.10)
2. Diabetes Mellitus, Type II, controlled (ICD 250.00)
3. Reynaud’s Phenomena (ICD 443.0)
4. Sleep Apnea (ICD 327.23)
5. Occular Migraines (ICD-346.0)
6. Migraines(ICD-346.0)
7. BPH (diminished prostate) (ICD 600.01)
8. Factor V Leiden (ICD 289.81)
9. Major depressive disorder, severe, recurring (ICD-296.3) (who would not be depressed with a death sentence over their head, eh?)
10. Sjogrens Syndrome (SC) (ICD-710.2)
11. Pulmonary Hypertension (ICD 416.8)
12. High Cholesterol (ICD V65.3)
13. Thyroid Nodules (ICD 242.4)
14. Gastro esophageal Reflux Disease (SC) (ICD 530.81)
15. Myalgias, Arthralgias (SC)
16. Non-Alcoholic Steatohepatitis (immune mediated hepatitis)(SC) (ICD 571.8)
17. Deep Venous Thrombosis, Resolved (ICD 453.41) with Dependent Edema
I take so much medication that I have to keep all of the bottles in a bin rather than a medicine cabinet. One of my medicines, Migranal, is over $100 per dose.
I decided to keep this blog to help document the changes in my cognitive state as a function of time. My disability attorney, a former Federal Administrative Law judge, got my wife and me into the habit of documenting my day to help others understand how hard it was for me to be out among other people. I find that I still write very well, although it takes me a great deal of time to organize and express my thoughts. For example, it required about two hours to organize and write this short background on me. It is my fervent hope that researchers will find this information useful, and that someday no one may suffer from this disease.
Day 1
Today I woke at 0530, but was very tired and dozed for a while. My wife got up to read her daily devotional, so I got up to drink coffee just like any other morning. Our 28 month-old grandson arrived and we got his breakfast, then both of us began to read to him. At 1000 we went to the public library to return some books we had checked out for our grandson. I was able to remember that I had asked for a book on interlibrary loan, but it had not arrived yet. I began to experience balance problems and had to hold onto the wall a few times as we left the library. We then went to the local mall to walk. I had to hold onto our grandson’s stroller for balance, and occasionally my wife observed that I was dragging my feet. At one point I stopped and was completely disoriented, even reading the signs I could not remember which way to go. My wife patiently attempted to coach me to make a correct decision, which I did after about three minutes. I was almost panicked by that time, and very embarrassed that I did not know which way to go if the child had been in my sole care. We then came home and I worked on materials for my students – it took me approximately two hours to send one email with materials that I had prepared over the past four days. After we had dinner, we needed to take my son somewhere, and I was unable to articulate the phrase “leather jacket” in an inquiry, and had to have my wife walk me through our coping strategies for words that I cannot grasp. When I returned home, I began this blog … and argued with my wife (very uncharacteristic of me before this disease surfaced) about going to be versus getting the job done.
More to follow (MTF).
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